For one-fifth of polled Americans, disputes at holiday gatherings lead to estate planning fallout

Holiday gatherings are often a time for families to reconnect, but a recent survey from Trust & Will reveals they can also become a flashpoint for disputes with lasting consequences.

According to the survey conducted between November 6 and November 8, in the immediate wake of the presidential election, nearly two-fifths (40 percent) of families report experiencing open disagreements during holiday celebrations.

Notably, one-third of these conflicts lead to lasting grudges, and nearly 20 percent of respondents indicated that such rifts have resulted in changes to a family member’s will or estate plan.

The survey of 500 individuals found that politics, especially in a post-election environment, is the most common source of tension, cited by 34 percent of respondents. Other leading causes include past family grievances (32 percent), relationships (25 percent), finances (25 percent), and parenting (17 percent).

While sensitive topics such as inheritance or family heirlooms may end up being the proverbial elephant in the room, 38 percent of respondents admitted that holiday conversations sometimes touch on these issues, even in lighthearted ways.

Despite the challenges of interpersonal tensions and navigating family dynamics during reunions, Cody Barbo, CEO of Trust & Will, argued that the holiday season open a window to address sensitive topics constructively. 

“The holidays are a great opportunity to have meaningful conversations about your legacy and intentions,” he said in a statement revealing the findings. “We encourage families to take a thoughtful, long-term perspective, focusing on what truly matters, rather than letting temporary emotions shape important decisions.”

The survey also highlighted differences in holiday conflicts based on demographics. Millennials were most likely to cite relationship issues as a focus of holiday conversation (37 percent), while Baby Boomers pointed to politics (36 percent). Past grievances, meanwhile, were a source of consternation for 40 percent of Gen Y and 32 percent of Gen X.

Regional factors also shaped tensions: respondents from the West were most likely to identify finances as a source of arguments (34 percent), while political discussions dominated in the Midwest (38 percent). In the Southeast, relationships and love lives were cited most often (37 percent), while parenting concerns were a primary trigger in the Northeast (30 percent).