"Leveling the playing field" for women divorcees

Some days in sunny southern California just aren’t all that sunny for the "silver splitters" of divorce, as Kimberly Nelson calls them.

Nelson, who’s a financial advisor at Coastal Bridge Advisors, an independent RIA in California, says she decided to find her niche in divorce with clients because of the need to work with the “out of the loop” spouse, creating a new network around them.

Nelson explains the “out of the loop” spouse, which are often female spouses, are uninformed around financials because of the moneyed spouse, often the male partner.

“I work with them to create a new network around them so they can take control of their financial life and move forward with a lot of empowerment and not confusion or fear,” Nelson said. “Divorce is both a financial process, but it's also a deeply emotional process.”

She recalls the first instance that initiated her passion to work with divorcees was when the firm was working through a divorce with a large client.

“I witnessed how the team rallied around the moneyed spouse,” she admits. “He knew about the ins and outs of the family’s financial picture while his wife did not, so it was up to her attorneys to unravel all of that with the information she provided.

“It made me think a little bit about the process and who's in the power position here,” she added.

That’s when she decided to level the playing field for women clients. Nelson says one of the key trends that the industry has faced is a spike in gray divorces, though, she calls it "silver splitters."

“They're not grey. They're silver, shiny and living their best lives in their 50s and 60s,” she says.

Indeed, women are living their best lives as a recent UBS Global Wealth Report found women are poised to transfer over 10 percent of the $83.5 trillion great wealth transfer that’s bound to happen in the future. Women are also increasingly outliving men.

“There's been a great trend toward women taking greater responsibility and becoming more informed,” Nelson noted. “It coincides with women entering the workforce in a major way. These last few years, women have really stepped up in terms of education opportunities that are being provided. We’re working every day toward leveling that playing field.”

The reason for most divorces, Nelson highlighted, is clients are feeling more “financially empowered and feeling like they can do it on their own if they're in a marriage that's not fulfilling to them.”

“If one party isn’t informed, that can lead to issues and problems.”

She points to a bigger issue. Most clients stay in relationships for so long, despite not wanting to, because of money.

“Money is supposed to provide the lifestyle that we want to live, it's supposed to buy us control over our time. Relationships should only be about a connection between two people and should have nothing to do with money,” she said.

“The closer we move to that, the better off we are as a society.”

While the narrative around divorce has often been the male counterpart going to work and earning the hard-earned income who manages it and has more control, Nelson highlighted that is now starting to change. She also notes that marriages should be looked at as "business relationships."

“Marriage is a personal relationship, but it’s also a business relationship. You're running an empire together; you're hoping to make decisions about your money together and buy things together. In any well-run company, the departments are going to get together and update each other on the progress.”

Moving forward, she believes both parties should be taking equal responsibility and accountability, “where we both know what's going on and we can make the right decisions for the family together.”

Name: Kimberly Nelson
Position: Financial advisor
Company: Coastal Bridge Advisors
Founded: 2008
AUM: Approximately $3.5 billion