Valentine’s Day reminder: A man is not a plan

It’s mid-February, and Americans are being bombarded with romantic images of hearts, flowers, chocolates and marriage proposals during the annual Valentine’s Day advertising blitz. Less obvious is the short-term price tag — an estimated $27 billion spent on gifts — along with the long-term patterns that can tie love and money into a Gordian knot.

In her insightful new white paper, “Designing Your Economic Masterpiece In a Man’s World,” Meredith Moore, founder and CEO of Artisan Financial Strategies in Alpharetta, Ga., offers women a guide to money management and long-term financial security to combat centuries of cultural messaging that they are not suited to the task.

“For women of every age, income level and marital status, now is the time to adopt a proactive approach to learning about financial strategy,” Ms. Moore said in releasing her new paper, which focuses on the intersection of gender, money and power, and the ways that gender role assumptions impact women’s financial power within personal relationships.

“Women have made significant progress in entering the workforce over the past half-century, boosting our earning power higher than ever before,” Ms. Moore wrote in the paper, which is based on the latest independent research on money and gender, as well as personal observations during her 20-plus years as a financial adviser. “With more income comes greater opportunity for building savings, but inadequate financial education and lack of confidence managing our own money continue to hold us back.”

Citing a Women, Money and Power Study from Allianz Life Insurance Co., Ms. Moore noted that 56% of single women and 55% of divorced women agreed with the statement: “Deep down, I worry about becoming a bag lady.” Marital status is not solely responsible for the deep-seated anxiety. The same study found that 43% of married women and 48% of widows share the same sentiment.

Higher income doesn’t guarantee financial confidence, either. More than one-quarter of survey respondents who earn $200,000 or more are still prone to bag lady fears.

Separately, a study published by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College showed two-earner households losing more in post-retirement income than married couples with only one breadwinner, underscoring the fact that women of every marital status face a real possibility of experiencing financial need in their retirement years.

“Financial literacy is only one piece,” Ms. Moore told me in a telephone interview. The bigger challenge is a lack of time.

“As breadwinner, caregivers, homemakers, cooks, community leaders, social liaisons, bookkeepers, chauffeurs and calendar coordinators, women have few free moments for self-care or additional learning that we once did,” she wrote. “How do we get women, particularly those in senior leadership roles, to engage in a reasonable manner without killing their calendar?”

Simply becoming more engaged in the details of your own financial world is the first and most important thing you can do to prevent personal financial crisis, reduce financial risk and enhance long-term financial security, Ms. Moore said.

Start by evaluating the way your family handles household finances, whether through a whole wage system where one person manages all of the household finances; a pooling system, where a couples pool their money and treat it as a collective resource; an independent management system, where partners maintain individual control of their earnings; or somewhere in-between.

Ask yourself:

— Does this model create a balance of power that allows both partners to feel valued and heard?

— Does it provide adequately for household financial needs as well as personal spending by both partners?

— Does the model encourage secrets or dishonesty around finances?

— Does it feel fair to both partners in monetary terms as well as in terms of their ability to influence spending decisions?

— Does the model create risk for one partner in particular should the relationship end in death or divorce?

Regular financial discussions are a must for every couple, regardless of income or style of household financial management.

Similarly, meetings with the family’s financial adviser should be viewed as can’t miss events. If a woman doesn’t want to participate in a meeting because the adviser ignores, discounts or treats her presence as an inconvenience, that’s a clear indication that the couple needs a new adviser who will value her input.

"Marriage is a partnership that includes two people, whether that partnership is funded by one income or two,” Ms. Moore said. “The more you engage with your family’s ongoing money issues, large and small, the better your foundation for contributing valuable insight to inform household finance decisions.”

“At the same time, you’ll be preparing yourself to enjoy a comfortable financial future with your partner or to take the reins, financially speaking, should you ever need to,” she wrote.