About a year ago, I realized that our company had grown bigger and more complex than anything I'd ever been involved with. While that should have been cause for celebration, I was feeling frustrated and so maxed out that I could barely sleep at night. It was clear to me that I had hit my ceiling. The way I had been working for the past 20 years was simply not going to be effective if I wanted to help our firm continue the exponential growth that had been part of our DNA since our founding a decade ago.
I suspect that my plight is not that different than many folks have felt at the midpoint of their careers or at key inflection points in their businesses.
It's remarkably easy when you see things not working to point fingers and find excuses. However, it's important to remember that if there is frustration at the top, there is even more anxiety for the people who work with you. It was clear that in order for us to continue growing, I would have to let go of more control and ensure that the team could make decisions without my presence. Though I'd been doing a lot of personal education and growing over the past couple of decades, it was time for dedicated executive coaching to help me renew and improve how I work.
It's been about six months now and there have been three distinct phases to the process. The first was probably the most painful. It was about seeing the truth; it involved learning what my board of directors, my direct reports and a broader set of teammates (including my partners running their local offices) thought about me on various measurements and receiving a comprehensive report back. I didn't expect many surprises because we conduct 360 reviews annually.
When Mark, my coach, delivered the feedback, it had some nice commentary, mostly about my passion for our people and for the business, but that can cut both ways. The parts I really focused on were the not-so-good things many business leaders might hear: inattentive, distracted, impatient, highly demanding and unappreciative. The graphs and scores were uncomfortable to see, but the anonymous written comments and thoughtful insights people wrote were not only the truth, they were also unquestionably heartfelt. People really wanted me to set a higher standard for myself.
These were hard words to write — and very hard for any of us to accept — but once you realize that you are ultimately responsible for any of the shortfalls in your organization, internalizing what you need to improve makes the second part worthwhile. The second step, analyzing the data and creating an action plan, felt empowering and cleansing. My list has five responsibilities, all of which I believe in at my core and which I needed to refine:
1. Treat people in a kind and considerate way
2. Consistently demonstrate composure
3. Focus on excellence in an inspiring way
4. Empower effective independent action for my team
5. Take feedback in a productive and positive way
Had you asked me seven months ago about my strengths, I would have given you at least three of the things on this list, but my peers didn't see it that way, and that means I was wrong. As companies grow, your leadership style needs to grow, too. The bigger your position or firm, the more your voice carries and the more what you do and say matters.
The third step is one I have been working on for the past few months: becoming aware and making the small daily decisions that demonstrate how I am a different and growing person, with an evolving leadership perspective. These are three specific steps I've taken that I think are helping and might be helpful to you if you are in a similar position:
1. Remove my biases. Understanding the difference between opinion and fact is at the heart of this process. Learning that many of my preconceived notions about what has made me successful might, in fact, be holding us back has been a challenging realization of this voyage. It's hard when you have achieved success by pushing everyone as hard as you can to move to a model where you drive results by inspiring and encouraging. It's really hard to form a culture of appreciation and enjoyment when the stakes are so high, and you have been raised to believe that all work has to be serious work.
2. Remove the walls. I moved to a cube, as did my entire executive team. It has literally taken away the silos that were isolating each of us and increased the flow of information. There are pop-up meetings occurring all the time now. It has also forced me to regulate my voice and be conscious of what I say since everyone can hear me. I have to be more considerate because I have roommates again, but I also learn a lot by simply listening to what's going on around me.
3. Remove the old habits. I have worn a tie since I was 6 years old (a part of growing up in the colonial education system), and it has been my uniform for my entire working career. Taking off the tie was a nice break with the hierarchical (“I know more than you”) style of management to one that's more collaborative (“what do you know that I should know?”). It means a different view of leadership: observing meetings but not running them, asking more questions rather than answering them, helping people with the decision-making process instead of making all the decisions. The tie, the office, the inflexible opinions are slowly becoming a thing of the past (with the occasional recurrence), though our unwavering commitment to be the best in the industry has not swayed.
Midway through our engagement, Mark asked me a very interesting question: “When are you the best example of a leader?” The answer came very quickly, “When I coach my daughter's soccer team.” When he asked why, I described how I was disciplined with the girls, but they still had so much fun and brought out the best in me and themselves. I took pride in how they were supported and coached in a caring, gentle way. I felt really good seeing them grow individually and as a team. “So why don't you bring that person to work,” he asked me. “I obviously think differently about the people and the consequences of failing.”
It goes without saying that I have been reminded that all we can control in the working world is how we interact with those around us. People want guidance but they also want encouragement, fairness and to have a voice, regardless of where they work or play. Great leaders are not always right but they do help to create and nurture teams that do the right thing. If our team is going to be better, it's because all of our players keep getting better and playing better together. The results will take care of themselves.
During this Thanksgiving season, I feel incredibly grateful to our colleagues who have been in the trenches with us and who encourage each other to keep improving. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and may you continue to grow.
Joe Duran is chief executive of United Capital and author of “The Money Code: Improve Your Entire Financial Life Right Now.” Follow him @DuranMoney.
